Mixed Feeling

Assalamualaikum wbt,
Have a good day people.

Last time my write up is about my journey to journey with my bff isn't?
Today, i feel like to be a script writer for my story. How do you feel once your heart broken? a few fight with your friends? how do you express your feeling with this circumstances? how do you handle it? how do you control your anger towards others? HOW?

to me: am not a good enough person who can bear it at once. i was truly had a bad attitude, you know Hot temper. Sometimes,it was really bad when you can't controlled your anger. so bad. for future for yourself to of course. Uncontrolled feeling is weirdo right.

Few months before new year, i've read a post on Mr.Kamal Effendi Instagram about his wife. Dr. Nik Idzni Dalila. She's stage 4 cancer fighter guys. She died last month. Innanillahiwainnahirajiun. My condolences goes to her husband,family and friends. Now the story begin, i just speechless with the way how Mr.Kamal be a loving husband towards his wife. Superb! Alhamdulillah,before she died, her husband love her so much and so real guys! 10 out of 10 credit to him. Act being love and to be loved was something different thing we must sort it out. Mr Kamal and her late wife make me realize that Love Story is TRUE. A Husband love his wife badly also a TRUE.

But... its doesn't happen to me in real. A few people just come and go like wind of change and the song come out from my mp3 player. I can bear it so far. Still,.. am a girl who still want to clinging around and to be with and searching for my Mr Right,Prince Charming its not easy an abc's, cause its still need an effort till z. :(

Once if we meet a right person who can love us like our parents does, accept him. accept his flaw,his career,his good and bad also his family. These word always be my expectation in my marriage rule so far. Ohh man baru perasan i just wrote in english for 3 paragraph. gosh! sorry guys. my bad.(mcm ad org baca) klu grammar tak betul tu maafkan la saya. ok sambung2. Spt kalian (yg dah kawin) mestilah nak kekal till jannah,happy with marriage life also one of my dream lah. To find and search a guy in few month gila ke ape? takkan semudah tu. NO! namun usaha doa dan tawakkal adalah ubat paling mujarab untuk kita as a muslim or muslimah right? give me some credit k.

Namun...... untuk jatuh cinta dan menyanyangi itu bukan perkara atau subject yg mudah untuk kita hadam dalam masa yg terdekat. dan menerima org baru untuk kita harungi susah dan senang bukan semudah cendol mamak yg sedap dekat taman desa tu. Thats life. the rule of life the rule of love story i guess. Sesungguhnya, untuk aku bercerita dan menulis bukan lah sesuatu yg aku jangkakn. Sometimes, we need to share what our though about others thinking or opinion, kita nak terima or tak itu terpulang. Aku mula risau, di usia 26 tahun, aku masih lagi tercari2 dimana hala tujuku, dan masih lagi single. Risau,Runsing,Resah semua ada. Tipulah xde kan. Aku juga manusia yg punya hati dan perasaan yg masih kering dan gersang.

Lelaki... adalah seorang 'subject' yg aku perlu study dalam2 apa yg manusia ni nak dari seorang wanita,perempuan. Apa yg kau buat kalau kau kawin dgn aku nanti, apa matlamat sebenar kau? boleh kau pikul tanggungjawab sbg seorang suami,ayah kepada anak2 aku nanti. Sama, aku juga berkali2 fikir andainya ada jodoh kelak. Mampu ke aku nak pikul semua tu? In case ada masalah yg perlu diselesaikan secara berdua, apa kau cukup bersedia untuk terima kerenah aku?  Jangan ambil mudah dlam setiap perkara guys, you will be a husband and a father one day. org ckp practice make perfect. gitew. Aku bukan nak menghina atau mencabar kaum lelaki. am not perfect either. cuma ini yang aku tertanya2 jika berjodoh.

Kadang2 aku menulis atas dasar geram towards lelaki yg xde tanggungjawab dan bukan semua lelaki mcm tu. ada yg baik ada yg betul2 fikir untuk masa depan. ada yg betul2 bagus sampai boleh jadi contoh dan taulan. Sekian,.. harap2 ade yg beri komen dan sudi drop by baca. jika ada story yg boleh share sila emailkan. terima kasih.



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